The neurologist, who knew her and us well after these three surgeries and still has our full trust, couldn’t explain what exactly had gone wrong. But he gave us hope that she would recover from this injury as this is not unusual to happen in dogs. He had a suspicion that it could be a spinal shock and it might improve after a week or ten days. We waited a full week for a miracle, leaving Cookie in the care of the clinic but visiting her twice a day. We tried to lift her and our spirits, massage her limps, talk to her, feed her cooked chicken and fish and give her all our love and hope. It was a very emotional time filled with struggling between hope and giving up. Due to the damage that the surgery caused, all ways for her to express herself had been taken from her. Seeing her state worsening after one week, we decided in agreement with the vets to release her from her misery. At the age of only 5 and a half, we had to let her go. It felt like someone chopped a piece of my body off. The paralysis had started to expand towards her head which caused her difficulty to breathe. The neurologist explained that sometimes this can happen because there is a loss of blood circulation in the spinal cord that affects the diaphragm (from what I understood) and ultimately affects the ability to breathe. She was very, very unlucky.

Since then I am trying to get over this loss. The worst is, that the last week of her life was hell and I feel like I should have spared her from this. But we also didn’t want to end her life as long as there was a chance for her to recover. To a dog you cannot explain what happened and I couldn’t explain to her why she is in such a state after I handed over the leash to the veterinary nurse and I feel guilty for this.

I know that some people will think ‘but it’s just a dog’. Yes it is a dog, but she was a full member of our small family and we saw her grow up and become a fantastic, cheerful and always sweet dog even though she surely had a lot of pain in her short life. And it hurt us so much losing her.

So I thought I’d share where I found comfort and what made me feel slightly better in these last weeks:

Fresh air

It never felt as good to be in the fresh air and move like in these last weeks. I am thankful to live in Switzerland and for the first time in my life I am thankful for the winter. Walking and moving and breathing the cold, crisp winter air until my face hurts from the cold made me definitely feel better. Whenever we have a chance, we drive to the mountains for extra freshness and to calm ourselves down.

Talk and remember

Sharing amongst ourselves, my mum and our friends definitely helped a lot. Remembering the fun moments we had with Cookie and also the things that still bother us or make us feel bad is something that made us grow together. Talk about it made me feel a lot better. Knowing that you are not on your own with your feelings provides comfort. Our friends with dogs where also very helpful and I still turn to them when I feel low. I also have to say that the people at work were very sweet and understanding, something that I value a lot! And honestly, if I would lose a person that I love, I would not hesitate to get professional help too.

Distraction

Escape from reality and indulge in an extensive session of Game of Thrones or hide behind a good book helped too. The first weekends we also couldn’t bare staying at home so we ended up doing some short trips to Milan or other places. Of course you cannot always hide from real life but every now and then it is great to forget all of it and distract yourself.

Yoga

Another thing that calms me down and makes me feel better is yoga. Adriene (my personal yoga hero) has put together a nice yoga sequence for the broken heart. And it doesn’t matter what made your heart break, does it?

Work

Even though something like this makes a lot of work related problems appear like minor issues, work is a great distraction. Sometimes it is hard to hold the tears back but sometimes it is good that you have to focus on something different that makes you forget everything else.

Sorrow is a very personal thing but maybe sharing what made each of us feel better helps another.

Cookie, you are dearly missed in our family. I will never forget what you taught me and how many cheerful moments you brought into our lives. All we can wish for, is that you are runnig free now. That you are happy and without pain!

I have to say that after a week in the mountains I felt so healthy and alive. My skin was glowing and I moved a lot more than I usually do. It makes me realise how bad my office job is for my health. Working 10 – 12 hours a day in a climatised high rise without a chance to move – besides running from one meeting to another – often makes me feel worn out. Usually I don’t have the energy to cook a proper meal after work, let alone to do sports. This vacation week has shown me how good it feels to move and spend time outdoors. We tried cross-country skiing and had a lot of fun doing it. I hope we get the chance to practice this more often close to our home during winter. So my new years resolution has been set: move more!

Our recommendations for Davos:

Grischa Lounge for a pre-dinner drink by the fire
Pöstli Grill at Morosani Pöstli Hotel for a good piece of meat
Jatzhütte on Jakobshorn for a lunch with a view
Kaffee Klatsch for an afternoon coffee and cake
Pizzeria Padrino for a great pizza combined with Italian hospitality
Hiking from Ischalp to Clavadeler Alp on Jakobshorn for true winter feeling and beautiful views
Glühwein at Bolgenplaza for a true après-ski feeling

Of course there are a lot more things to do and see in Davos. We were mostly active around the Jakobshorn area as it offers beautiful walks combined with good mountain restaurants. It is also easy to access as there is the train station Davos-Platz nearby and a huge car park opposite.

View from our bedroom

Our home for a week.

Winter feeling

Walking in Davos with looots of snow.

Relaxing by the fire.

Beautiful Sertig valley.

How much better can things get?

The most amazing thing happening was our wedding. In April Mr. C and I got married. It was a quite a long process until we were really sure what feels best for us. Initially we thought that we wanted to do a country style wedding party in the North of Italy with all our family and friends. But after a while I realised that a medium to big size party would not be what I would feel comfortable with as a bride. I don’t like to be in the center of the attention which is hard to avoid when you’re the bride. With these thoughts in mind we were somewhere between just eloping and doing a small party. The pro’s and con’s are obvious… I wanted to have my mum and my loved ones around me. The thought of getting ready all alone in a hotel room far away made me feel sad so eloping was not really an option. Doing a small party meant, that we could not have all our friends and family with us. We also felt sorry that we would not be able to have everyone with us. But it was a compromise we had to do and as most of our family lives abroad (we have sisters in Australia and the US) unfortunately not everyone invited could make it to our wedding.

Another question that we were confronted with is where to do the wedding dinner. With a small wedding party you usually end up renting a separate room at a restaurant or hotel. After we visited a restaurant and discussed to options, it felt like this was a too standard thing. It just didn’t feel right as we imagined our guests (that did not all know each other before the wedding) would not feel too comfortable sitting in an elegant environment. Feeling comfortable was like the big mantra for us but we nevertheless wanted to make it a special thing. But where else to go in April if not a restaurant? With the unsteady Swiss weather, an outdoor party was not really an option. On a Sunday afternoon, talking about how we didn’t really find the restaurant dinner appealing, all of a sudden Mr. C had the idea of the year: We would host our dinner at home! I instantly loved this idea.

So this is what we did: We had a civil ceremony at the town hall of the place we live followed by a cheese tasting buffet and drinks at a wine museum. The idea behind was to enable our guests to getting to know each other in a relaxing atmosphere. We were so lucky to have the most beautiful and warm weather so everything happened outside. After that, we went to our home where the caterer already had transformed our home into a beautiful dinner setting. We had an aperitif on our terrace followed by a great meal at one a large table in our living room. The atmosphere was exactly what we imagined it to be like: a bit elegant, happy and relaxing.

Throughout the whole day our friends and my mum had arranged so many beautiful surprises for us. From a ride in a cabrio to very moving speaches during dinner and balloons that we set off in the night. We had the most amazing and fantastic wedding and we loved every single detail of it! As soon as we got home I threw the heels in a corner and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening on bare feet. This is comfort. And even Cookie our dog could be with us all day and night. I know it might sound strange to many people how we celebrated our wedding but to us it felt so right! We had a friend taking the pictures which made everyone comfortable also in front of the camera. We ended up dancing in our living room and chatting along until 2 am.

After all we learned that you really have to listen to yourself and your partner and find the way that is right for you. More interesting thoughts on this can be found here.

The next day we left for the Seychelles to enjoy our honeymoon. The islands are truly like paradise and we indulged in the luxury of some amazing hotels and enjoyed the beauty of the nature and the friendliness of the people. During our honeymoon we got the bad news that our dog had again a discus hernia and needed another surgery. Within only 13 months, the same thing happened again! From that moment on of course our honeymoon was not the same anymore but we were anyway glad to know what was going on with Cookie. My mum luckily realised immediately what was going on and contacted the right people. First we thought of flying back home to be there with her but then we realised that it wouldn’t help anyone. My mum would have surely regretted having told us and for Cookie probably it wouldn’t have made a big difference.

My mum took great care of her and they know each other so well and she fully trusts her. Two days later Cookie was in surgery and thanks to only 2 hours time difference, we were able to check on the status often and spoke to my mum daily. As soon as we knew that she was okay after the surgery, we were able to enjoy the honeymoon again but of course you keep a heavy heart until you get back home. The worst was, that we weren’t able to support my mum in all this. It was also weird to be exposed to these sad thoughts during the most happy time of our life. As so often in life, joy and sadness lie very close to each other. Now, three months later, Cookie is able to walk again well but it clearly was worse than after the first surgery she had. Now we can only pray that this was the last time she (and us) had to go through this and we try to avoid things that could worsen her anyway ugly back.

And then we also kept ourselves also busy with this. In February we finally closed the deal over the piece of land that we bought in Apulia in the South of Italy where Mr. C’s roots lie. In June we started to rebuild our ‘Trullo’ a cone-shaped house that will become our vacation home. Another very exciting project that we will blog about! And already now we can’t wait to host our house warming party with a larger number of guests. Promised!

Here’s to a relaxing and happy weekend!

Homemade Ginger Lemonade

120 gr of grated ginger
rind and juice of two lemons
4 tbsp of sugar cane sirup
1 l of sparkling water

Place the grated ginger in a bowl and ad the rind of the lemon. Add 1 tbsp of sugar cane sirup and mix with a pestle. Add the lemon juice and mix well. Place the mix in a jug and add the remaining sirup and fill with sparkling water. Let it sit for 10 – 15 minutes, then taste. Add more lemon or sugar according to your preference. Process the lemonade through a sieve into a clean jug. Serve with lots of ice and mint leaves if desired.

Recipe: Adapted from Jamie Oliver
Music while enjoying this: Atoms for Peace

Soba Noodles Salad with peanut dressing – which I usually spice up with fresh chili, fried chicken or shrimps (top)
Berry Granola by Rude Health – my latest discovery and a long lasting breakfast (left)
Worstenbrodjes – A Dutch speciality that I love to bake together with my mum (right). Recipe will follow soon.
Cinnamon Sugar Pull-Apart Bread – So good that Mr C. and me somtimes inhale the whole thing at once (lower left)
Sunday brunches with a touch of summer: baguettes, fresh fruit, crostini with tomato pesto and home made strawberry cake (lower right)

Penta with their cute glass lamps, Foscarini that showed new lamps in orange and green called Chouchin mini and Flos showing a Lampshade hanging on a thin string, that was shone into by a spot on the floor. A totally new concept.

Besides that I liked what Flexform was showing, also if the design of the booth itself didn’t impress me. Gervasoni had a very nice stand presenting playful designs that can spice up any interior.

We were really lucky that everything turned out well so far and thanks to good vets and family and friends consulting us on what to do, we managed this difficult period quite well. I was amazed how normal things like eating, sleeping and work become completely secondary and basically are no priority in such moments. The positive thing was, to be sure that we have a lot of supportive friends and family and also us together grew even closer over worrying for this little devil. Especially my mum was there for us and our dog all the time, taking over whenever needed.

Happy Easter to all of you and a big thanks to those that helped us during the last weeks!

In one month the Salone del Mobile in Milano takes place. Can’t wait to be there and tell you about the latest discoveries.

What you need (per Person):

4 slices of ciabatta or olive bread
1 tablespoon of ricotta per slice
1 apple
sea salt & pepper
truffled balsamico glaze

Grill or toast the bread slices until slightly browned. Distribute the ricotta evenly on top of the bread slices. Cut the apple into thin slices and put them on top of the bread with ricotta. Sprinkle with sea salt and pepper and drizzle a bit of truffled balsamico glaze on top.

Recipe: Inspiration from here.
Music while creating & enjoying this: The XX – Coexist

Word cloud through Wordle.